Satchem:  I watched her crush a beer can between those boobs.

Matt:  Those two kids are like pussy repellent.

Jen:  She is such a slut.
Matt:  She's not a slut, she's just friendly.  Ain't nothing wrong with a friendly girl.

Josh:  My wood's minding it's own business.

Satchem:  So me and my roommate are fooling around with this girl...on the floor of my dorm room.

Ronald:  She was fat, wasn't she?
Satchem:  She was, in fact, a plumper.  But it was cool because she had a big 'ol rack.

Chubby Kid:  He had to find a girl with a shallow vaginer.

Matt:  I'm almost six inches and I've been known to run my shit pretty deep.

Amy:  What's a footjob?
Jen:  It involves your toes, your foot and his wang.
Julie:  Does it involve the anus?
Jen:  Not yet.

Matt:  I poked the hooter, now I wanna poke that cooter.

Satchem:  I'm not lickin wrong.  I'm not even lickin!

Matt:  In two weeks I spent ten dollars on you...and that was for condoms, which you didn't even make me wear.

Josh:  All of a sudden I'm a freak?  Freak-boy wearing a strap-on dildo.

Satchem:  She was grinding her hips looking for an extra two inches that I obviously don't have.

Jen:  There is no substitute for size.  I can do all the work.

Matt: There were five of us runnin that train...woow-woow!

Chubby Kid:  Do you really think Satchem knows what his mom's crotchless panties look like?
Ronald:  You're right, I don't know what my mom's crotchless panties look like.

Josh:  Her foot is like a jackrabbit.  She's got this big monkey toe, and then her next toe is long and kinda
           hooks so she can really get up in there.
Satchem:  Get up in where!?

Julie:  My mom came upstairs and said "I think you should wake that boy up, he's sleeping on the sofa
           and his little thing is sticking out...she actually said 'little'.

Matt:  You got the king-dong?

Ronald:  We're going to Satchem's party.  That's where all the GOOD SLUTS are gonna be.

Matt:  I just like hearing her beg for it.

Josh:  Whenever there's a midget around you know it's gonna be a good time.  I should start breeding them and
             make my own porn.

Matt:  That little goo-gobbler?

Amy:  My boyfriend's waiting in the car.
Matt:  So, you're good.  It'll only take you two minutes.

Josh:  She took her shirt off and did a little shake.
Satchem:  A little shake?
Josh:  To dry off her nipples.

Matt:  I got a hickey on my wiener once.

Amy:  First time I did it, I think I forgot to suck.
Jen:  One time I got it up my nose.

Josh:  When I'm naked with a girl, I walk around with my stomach sucked in.  It makes it look like white-lightening
            sticks out just a little bit further.

Chubby Kid:  I have Trish's bra.
Ronald:  We're gonna be legends, you do realize that.

Josh:  You were a slumpbreaker!

Matt:  He gave her the dirty sanchez.

Angie:  I wouldn't call five inches 'good'.
Ronald:  He didn't mention the other three and a half.  They're positively amazing.

Josh:  I would have been milking that freak nipple.

Satchem:  She's got winterbush year-round.

Matt:  When she gave me oral, she spit on her hands first, like she was getting ready to swing an axe.

Matt:  One poke, to test firmness.

Josh:  You were a grenade!

Chubby Kid:  This has been the coolest night of my life.
Ronald:  This has been the coolest night of my life too.

Angie:  I wanna do a keg stand.
Ronald:  Thank you Jesus.

Josh:  There's no such thing as a funny story about fooling around with a hot chick.  That's just braggin.

Chubby Kid:  Isn't she a plumper?
Ronald:  Yeah.  And when she gets drunk she's all about putting out.

Satchem:  Do you wanna wear a strap-on?

Satchem:  Who's the slut with the crotchless panties?

Ronald:  She looks like a prude, but don't worry, she's a regular fuck-machine.

Satchem:  I wasn't even fooling around with her.  I was just watching.

Ronald:  I follow the ass because the ass doesn't follow me.